The One Thing That Changes Everything

I didn’t see it coming.

Early in ministry, I traveled to a three-day conference on “Leading and Growing Your Church.” To be honest, I was primed for this one. We had seen some growth in the church I was serving, but it had been slow and met with resistance at every turn. I could name 10 reasons why things weren't going as well as I hoped. Most of them had first and last names.

But in the first session of the conference, the speaker pulled a fast one on me. He said, "If you want this conference to really make a difference, then forget about everyone back at your church. Forget about your board chair; forget that staunch old guard that fights everything you want to do. Forget about your church's bad location or inadequate facilities. Those are not your problem. You don't need to change those things. In fact, some of them you can't.”

One Thing

He continued, “These three days will have a huge impact on your life, if you will just focus on one thing: Just…change…you. Don't worry about changing anything else, just change you. If you do that, it will change everything else at your church. I promise."

It was one of the toughest challenges I had ever received, because I was ready to change everyone else but me. They all needed radical surgery. I just needed a little cosmetic touch up.

But on that late Tuesday afternoon, everything changed in my life. I finally realized I needed to change me.

Feeling Stuck

Perhaps you know what it is like to feel stuck. You may have rolled out of bed today feeling hurt or angry because of what someone has said or done. You may feel helpless because certain people are blocking your progress at work, at home or in your personal life, and you can’t change them.

In fact, you may be cross threaded with your boss or co-worker, your spouse or a family member, and you don’t know how to resolve it. Truth be told, you may feel exhausted. Your emotional tank is on E. You’re running on fumes and don’t know what to do.

If so, take these words to heart. Forget about the people and situations that are weighing you down right now. They are not your problem.

“How could that be?” you wonder. Because they have distracted you from the one thing that can change the situation.

100 Percent

The secret to getting unstuck is to stop the blame game and take 100 percent responsibility for where you are right now.

When we blame others or circumstances for our life situation, we empower them to control our lives. Without realizing it, we become victims, unable to take responsibility for ourselves and our future.

Instead of fixating on things beyond your control, what is one thing you can do to take responsibility for your situation? What phone call needs to be made or overdue text sent? Is there a difficult conversation to have or a group to join? Where does a boundary need to be drawn or a tough decision made?

Change Everything

It's really not about your boss, the culture, that difficult person or your unwanted circumstance. Don’t worry about changing any of them. They are not your problem. Instead, focus on this one thing. Just change you. If you do that, it will change everything else in your life. I promise.