WILD AT HEART, Part 2

He had it all.

He was good looking, athletic, a keen mind for business and an engaging personality. In college, we all thought he was poised to be a CEO of some big company.

But it didn’t turn out that way. A dark affair with alcohol consumed his gifts and promise.

Ever known anyone who gave away the best of themselves for far lesser things?

Unimaginable

In the story of Jacob and Esau in the Bible, it was the wild one who did something unimaginable in his day. These brothers were like chalk and cheese. Esau was a hunter, a man’s man who loved the out of doors. His brother Jacob preferred to stay around the house.

One day Esau came in after a long hunt and was starved. Jacob had just made some stew, so Esau asked for some. But Jacob, a conniver, said, “First sell me your birthright.” Esau said,

“Look, I am about to die,"

"What good is the birthright to me?"

Genesis 25:32 (NIV)

Since Jacob knew the value of such things, he said, “Swear to me, first.” Esau didn’t think twice about it as long as he could fill his belly.

When Esau finished eating and left, this one line in Scripture sums up the whole story.

“So Esau despised his birthright.”

Genesis 25:34 (GN)

What’s that about, and why does it matter? In his thoughtless act of instant gratification, Esau didn’t just sell his rights, privileges and possessions as a firstborn son. He gave away what he was meant to be.

Selling a Birthright

Maybe you have known people like that. To be honest, it’s what kept me from ever considering the ministry as a young person.

Growing up in the church, I knew I could never be a pastor, because nearly all the pastors I ever knew were old, bald and boring.

Now, I knew there was a chance that someday I might get old, and I might even lose my hair, but I could never envision myself being that boring. They could make listening to baseball on the radio seem exciting.

Later I figured out why. They had sold their birthright.

From what I could see, there was no life, no freedom, no wildness left. It had been beaten out of them as they tried to please person after person, church after church.

Tragically, they had given up who they were meant to be and become “company persons’ in the worst sense of that phrase. No connection to their own hearts. No understanding of their true emotions. No passion. They were just doing what was expected of them. Make no mistake, they were nice people. So nice. And nothing else.

I just couldn’t do that, so I set off to be a Marine Biologist. (Be careful what you tell God you will never do.) In a story too long to tell here, I sensed God leading me into full-time ministry. After a considerable struggle, I surrendered to that leading, went to seminary, took my vows of boredom and became a pastor.

Just a few years in, I began to feel an eerie kinship with the pastors of my youth. The expectations in one church were huge and heavy, and over time, I found myself conforming to them simply out of exhaustion. It was easier than fighting it all.

But that tactic had an unexpected consequence. I started to feel myself becoming an institutional green color. I was compromising my dreams, my passion, my uniqueness just to get along.

Truth be told, I was slowly selling my birthright. Intuitively, I knew if I continued down that path, I would stop loving God, I would leave the ministry, and I would be lost. That would be the consequence of giving away my original wildness, the very person God made me to be

Tamed

It is so easy to get tamed spiritually. So much of life is homogenized and sanitized. In this milieu, the essence of who we are deep down gets squeezed out. We become carbon copies of everyone around us.

All too often, we allow our family, our culture, or our church culture to dictate who and what we should be. In the process, we end up giving away the very thing that makes us truly unique.

This is what makes Esau’s act so wrong. He gave away his God-given place as the first born, his responsibility to his family, and his larger purpose in life, all to fill his stomach for a few hours. To meet his needs of the moment, he gave away his destiny.

Connect with the Wildness

If we are to avoid this tragic mistake, we must connect with our wildness within. Fulfilling our God destiny depends on it.

As I mentioned previously, you were made for something more.

Here are some questions to ponder:

· Have I been selling my birthright?

· Where have I allowed myself or others to compromise who God made me to be?

· Have I turned my back on the calling God has for me?

If any of these questions ring true right now, if you feel your heart turning institutionally green, stop the car right there. Re-connect with God and listen for the steps to take to reclaim who you were meant to be.

Remember that our God is free and uncontrollable. And as children created in God’s image, we were designed with this kind of wildness deep down inside.

It’s your birthright. Don’t ever sell it. Don’t give it away. Don’t let yourself be tamed. If you will connect with the original wildness that makes you you, God will use you to transform the world.

PRAY FOR FLOOD VICTIMS

As we continue to see the horrific tragedy play out in the Texas flooding with so many young lives lost, families torn apart and communities devastated, please pray for the rescue and recovery efforts of so many. Our God is a healing and restoring God.